July 1, 2010

Yesterday was overwhelming to me. I understand parts of it. Some of it is pretty simple. I have prayed that God will help me understand the parts I don’t understand. They were so intense. I understand being touched by the hospitality shown to us by Christo and Vania. It is a gift I would love to have. I would love to have the confidence and desire to invite people into my home outweigh every excuse and moment of second guessing if everything was suitable that stops me so much of the time. When I think of the time, effort and energy and love that went into rolling stuffed grape leaves and stuffed cabbage leaves for our entire herd of people, my fingers ache. I understand being touched by that. I think of the generosity evident as I consider the expense this couple must have incurred feeding 16 extra people on an income that comes from a very small congregation, I understand being touched by that. I think about the gift from Christo’s mother of not one cake but two, so each group would have their own entire sweet dessert to devour. It was so lovingly presented by Vania so that we would know and understand just how important it had been to Christo’s mother to give us this gift. I am amazed when I think about the flurry that must have occurred in the brief transition time between the two groups. I was in the second group and when we arrived, there were no signs that a meal for 8+ people had been served only moments before. We were greeted with the energy and graciousness that would make it seem as if we had been the only guests that day. I understand why I was impressed by that. It takes me three times that long to clean up after cooking for my family of four and then I’m ready to veg on the couch for a while, not jump up and do it again. I understand being touched by the thoughtfulness of the individual gifts she gave to each of us after our meal. They are something that each of us will treasure always. I also understand being moved by the song that sang for us. It came from so deep within their hearts and the love they felt for the Lord was evidenced through their song. So, I pretty much have dissected the things that make sense to me and understand becoming a little teary eyed when you combine them all together. I hear others in the group speaking of a new love for Bulgaria and that it has touched their hearts. I understand that and feel it as well. What I don’t understand is why I was moved to the point of being unable to speak for fear of tears. What was going on inside of me that caused such a stirring. I am not sure what to do with it and more than a little fearful of it. I’m going to have to keep praying about that. I’d kind of like to blame it on being a bit overtired, or hormones. It would be a lot easier to understand. But what if it is something more. What if it is a call to action . . .I’m going to keep praying.